I know he’s going to deny this, but when I asked my dad to help me open my Lizzie McGuire CD, he got all pissed and said we’d have to move to Ireland to avoid the seals on CDs. Now, I’m unsure if they’re free from those seals in Ireland, but one thing I do know? The seals on the top of the CDs are annoying.

            You can never get them off. Never. It literally takes about two and a half minutes to put one rip in the seal, and the rip is so small, there’s nothing you can do about it. You slave over opening this CD so vehemently that you end up with a monstrously annoying backache from being hunched over. At this point, you begin to realize that Madonna was right. It’s you against the music.

            Finally, after, oh, five minutes of this toiling labor, the CD is stripped of its frustrating seal. You get to pop in your fresh purchase, so I would hope that the terrible pain put into opening it was worth it.

            Unless it was a Nickelback CD. Then I strongly suggest chucking it into the nearest pond.