This group of people is perhaps one of the most annoying groups of all time. If I have to see another girl with a Team Edward t-shirt or another computer graphic that says, “I Heart Boys Who Sparkle”, I am going to vomit. If you’re a guy with one of those Robert Pattinson t-shirts on, I will definitely get my boyfriend to piss on you. After all, he’s Team Jacob.

            Anyway, I think it’s time to tell these people that no one really cares about how much they love Twilight. It’s some fad that will clearly be forgotten by the time the meaningless second volume of Breaking Dawn the movie is released. I mean, think about it. Edward Cullen is dead, meaning that he is in actuality a zombie. And all these girls think about is screwing a zombie, yet they can’t get over how perfect he is for the suicidal protagonist? Make up your minds, please!

            I don’t understand what makes someone a die-hard Twilight fan. The plots aren’t even interesting. The first story was kind of a page-turner, but after that, the whole thing fell apart completely. Did they really have to go to Italy and meet those sociopaths? No! And the whole time, you’re thinking these Italian vampires are going to cause major conflict in the last two books, yet the only put small dinks in the plot. It leaves the mega-literate with an expression of “What the hell?” Nevertheless, the annoying die-hard fans are clapping their hands, hooting, hollering, and even tearing up a bit because Edward is hot. And that leads me to believe one thing: The true youth of today is seriously this obsessed with sex. Did I mention that Edward Cullen is dead?

            I never thought sexuality was annoying until these fans came along. Thank you, squealing girls that never seem to shut up about Taylor Lautner’s mostly fake physique. Thank you very much.