If you called me an obsessed Twilight fan, I would have to beat you over the head with my dearly beloved copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I’m not one of those crazy Twilight people- heavens no. The reason why it bothers me that some people don’t understand the franchise is because there isn’t much to understand.

            To those of you who are in the dark about werewolves that are actually shape shifters and vampires with skin like my favorite sneakers, think of it as Days of Our Lives without the people getting pregnant with other people’s babies. Except it’s way, way worse and written for those with very low intelligence. It’s also Mormon propaganda for abstinence from everything- drugs, sex, etc. And people like it.

            Does Twilight make a lot of sense? Not really. Does it make enough sense so that even the beggar who spelled food wrong could get it in half a second? Definitely.

            Honestly, numbskulls, I’m begging you (and I know how to spell). You don’t have to like Twilight, because if you did, that would be annoying on a different level. But stop squawking about how you just don’t understand why girls think Edward Cullen is so special. It isn’t that hard to notice that for whatever reason, mass amounts of young females find the creepy, controlling type to be extremely sexy.

            Edward Cullen is annoying, too. Although, the fact that he isn’t real makes him slightly more tolerable than those of you who pretend like Twilight is some deep, beyond you enigma.