BP. It’s so hot right now. But I, unlike the rest of the world, am not going to be complaining about the BP gas station. Instead, I am going to write this very brief expose on why Shell gas station is very annoying.
It’s not the gas station itself, because that’s just like any other type of gas station (except for the fact that it didn’t cause a gigantic oil spill). Instead, it’s the fact that the sign is just one, big, yellow shell. AND WE’RE JUST SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THIS IS THE NAME OF THE GAS STATION.
Honestly, not all of us are talented in basic Pictionary. Some of us need actual words to figure out what the hell you’re calling yourself because using a weird picture or logo is entirely kindergarten, third grade at the very maximum. And even that is pushing it. Besides, anyone who knows what’s annoying and what’s not knows that advertising in general is annoying, but that’s not the point.
Yes, I realize that somewhere on the sign, it does tell you that this gas station is called Shell. But it doesn’t mean that it says it on everything, which it should. It’s not even like the word SHELL is obviously printed on the sign, anyway. They seriously expect us to pick up on the name by looking at a picture.
For once in their lives, those who work behind the creepy Shell gas station counter and modern artists would get along. They, for whatever reason, all believe that a picture is enough to make sense to the remainder of the population. But it’s not enough. In fact, it’s not even close to enough. Assumptions by anyone are just completely annoying!
I say we all boycott Shell and start going to some place that doesn’t use an irritating picture to stand for its name. Maybe then they’ll realize to stop guessing that we’re all stupid and ditch the dumb-ass logo. It would make the world less annoying.
*GASP* Maybe if the world was less annoying, people would be less stressed about everything! And then the gas prices would decrease! In effect, the entire American economy may improve!
But it doesn’t.
See, Shell gas station?
It’s all your fault our country sucks.
As stated before, I am an obsessive grammarian. I make it one of my top joys in life. Like most young people, I do have a cell phone, and I do pay for unlimited text messaging. Most of the time, I only text my best friend, but at times, I am subjected to text other people. And this is what I get.
Wat pg wuz it 4 da bio hmwk?
Immediately, I’m frightened. I stand up and check my surroundings and realize I am not on Mars. So why is this person sending me a text in what looks like it was written in Martian?*
Honestly, people, we live in a country with no official language, but I don’t think Outer Space is one of those languages most people speak. Putting it in your text messages is confusing the absolute hell out of those of us who remember how to spell. We can’t understand the point you’re trying to make! Well, I’ll stop acting like a person who doesn’t get Twilight and be honest. We do understand what you’re trying to get across, but we don’t want to. We want you text like a normal person with normal words and normal structures. Anything else makes you look like a parrot with a cell phone in its beak. And as long as that’s what you’re not, why would you want to be?
So, all of you who abbreviate ridiculously when you text, stop. It’s not cute, it’s not funny, and it makes the rest of us want to send you a text that reads:
U nd 2 stop txting me like dat cuz its mking me wanna stab u. ROFL.
*This is the part where my best friend says, “I told you he came from Martian descent!”
I’m a girl.
I don’t have a picture because I have yet to find the perfect one.
My best friends are someone who really needs to get herself on Tumblr and mentalstability.
I am obsessed with music.
There are many things that I find annoying. If I offend you, please remember, it’s all for show. I realize we all have our likes and dislikes, and I’m not going to personally fight with you or shove my beliefs down your throat. This is just my way of venting about the things that bother me. I’m not going to attack you individually, so why attack me? It’s only life, after all. :)
(Source: partytights, via mentalstability)
Summer is my favorite time of year. Is it because I don’t have to deal with high school boys and their unrequited love? Partially. But mostly, it’s because I get to catch up on my soaps. Days of Our Lives, One Life to Live, General Hospital… I love that shit. What I don’t love about that shit? The fact that without fail, every time a woman gets pregnant, you never know whose baby it is.
Have you ever known for sure of the baby’s father? NO! It has never once happened. And even when you, the viewer, know who knocked up this slut of a woman, do all the characters know for sure? Clearly not! And how terribly annoying is it when you hear everybody congratulating the man who isn’t the father? It just makes you want to squirm and force the writers to get the answer on television already!
Of course, once they tell you it’s one guy’s baby, it turns out that that guy’s mom just wanted a grandchild, so she messed with the results of the paternity test (which they always take and stretch out for an entire summer). But then the baby gets leukemia, and the “father” isn’t a donor because he’s not really his father. So the other guy comes back into play, and as it turns out, he’s the father. For now.
Okay, so soap operas themselves are annoying. But this is by far the most annoying concept.
We’ve all had them. And how many of us can say they had one who wasn’t creepy or annoying? I don’t think any of us can.
Think about it. They’re always middle-aged men who have nothing better to do with their time than teach high school sophomores how to operate a murder machine. And they do it for hours at a time!
Also, you have to remember just how freakish they are. They’re always yelling at random things outside like semi trucks and the people who dance outside with ads for Little Caesar’s (also annoying). They don’t shut up, even when you’re doing it right. No matter what, they always ask the same questions (“So, when do you go back to school?” “Do you know anybody who lives around here?” “Have your parents ever caught you with drugs?”) and tell the same jokes (“Eighty-five dollars for a yearbook? It better be in 3-D when you open it up.”). They smell like a funeral parlor and Lysol. And, without a doubt, they always have some form of turrets.
And, as we all know, there’s nothing more annoying than a case of turrets. Try having it while trying to teach a fifteen-year-old how to drive. *coughcoughcompulsivehum*
What’s that? You’ve never heard of this pop darling? Well, calling her a darling would be an example of me, using the term VERY loosely.
I’m not sure what she’s really like, but here’s what Ke$ha is like to the public eye and why that makes her highly annoying. First of all, look at her name. The fact that there’s a dollar sign in place of the letter S doesn’t even make sense. It’s annoying to look at, especially if you’re an obsessive grammarian, which we all know I am. Then, let’s take a look at her songs. I’m not sure if she has many popular ones other than “Tik Tok”, but that is a terrible, terrible song. Girls are supposed to feel empowered to be more than party-goers, and that’s exactly what Ke$ha is promoting. The magazines also printed that she’s a high school dropout, so I guess it’s become acceptable for young girls to want to “get crunk” (or whatever the slang is now- I don’t know) and drop out of high school, despite an alleged high SAT score? I don’t think so.
Also, I read in another magazine (one who studies annoying things must read the teen magazines for the best results) that Ke$ha was a stalker in high school. She wrote this super emo song about this boy who didn’t give a shit about her, and we’re supposed to think that obsessive stalking is okay, too? Yeah, I know this makes me kind of hypocritical because during my first year of high school, I pretty much followed around this boy (his name rhymes with Schmince), but that doesn’t make it right! Stalking is annoying!
Ke$ha sucks. But that boy she stalked doesn’t know about it.
I know he’s going to deny this, but when I asked my dad to help me open my Lizzie McGuire CD, he got all pissed and said we’d have to move to Ireland to avoid the seals on CDs. Now, I’m unsure if they’re free from those seals in Ireland, but one thing I do know? The seals on the top of the CDs are annoying.
You can never get them off. Never. It literally takes about two and a half minutes to put one rip in the seal, and the rip is so small, there’s nothing you can do about it. You slave over opening this CD so vehemently that you end up with a monstrously annoying backache from being hunched over. At this point, you begin to realize that Madonna was right. It’s you against the music.
Finally, after, oh, five minutes of this toiling labor, the CD is stripped of its frustrating seal. You get to pop in your fresh purchase, so I would hope that the terrible pain put into opening it was worth it.
Unless it was a Nickelback CD. Then I strongly suggest chucking it into the nearest pond.
As implied many times already throughout this book, I am a major Harry Potter fan. If I could major in Weasley family history, I totally would. But even fans like me can agree that Emma Watson did an annoying job at portraying Hermione Granger in the first film.
First of all, that thing she did with her nose and her eyebrows made her seem like she was a fussy caterpillar. And she’d open her mouth like she was trying to catch flies. My theory is that she finally did catch a few flies, because by the time Chamber of Secrets came out, she didn’t open her mouth so wide. Probably because the flies laid eggs, hindering her from over annunciating.
You probably think I’m bitter because Rupert Grint (who I am still half-convinced is going to walk up to me one day and ask me to marry him) doesn’t know I exist, and that’s partially true. But what’s mostly true is the fact that Watson was annoying in this film, to the point where you want to smack the perpetual yawn off of her face. Hermione Granger herself is incredibly bothersome (insufferable know-it-all), so Watson did her job by being annoying.
That doesn’t all of a sudden make her tolerable to watch, however.
This group of people is perhaps one of the most annoying groups of all time. If I have to see another girl with a Team Edward t-shirt or another computer graphic that says, “I Heart Boys Who Sparkle”, I am going to vomit. If you’re a guy with one of those Robert Pattinson t-shirts on, I will definitely get my boyfriend to piss on you. After all, he’s Team Jacob.
Anyway, I think it’s time to tell these people that no one really cares about how much they love Twilight. It’s some fad that will clearly be forgotten by the time the meaningless second volume of Breaking Dawn the movie is released. I mean, think about it. Edward Cullen is dead, meaning that he is in actuality a zombie. And all these girls think about is screwing a zombie, yet they can’t get over how perfect he is for the suicidal protagonist? Make up your minds, please!
I don’t understand what makes someone a die-hard Twilight fan. The plots aren’t even interesting. The first story was kind of a page-turner, but after that, the whole thing fell apart completely. Did they really have to go to Italy and meet those sociopaths? No! And the whole time, you’re thinking these Italian vampires are going to cause major conflict in the last two books, yet the only put small dinks in the plot. It leaves the mega-literate with an expression of “What the hell?” Nevertheless, the annoying die-hard fans are clapping their hands, hooting, hollering, and even tearing up a bit because Edward is hot. And that leads me to believe one thing: The true youth of today is seriously this obsessed with sex. Did I mention that Edward Cullen is dead?
I never thought sexuality was annoying until these fans came along. Thank you, squealing girls that never seem to shut up about Taylor Lautner’s mostly fake physique. Thank you very much.